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emerald_embersTitle: Evil Hetero Desires
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Pairing: Cid/Vincent
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 2285
Summary: Genderswitch fic; Cid has no complaints about Vincent's new appendages.
Vincent Valentine was not a happy man. Being currently an unhappy woman, he was quite the opposite.
"What do you mean, you can't fix it?"
"I mean I can't fix it. I've read all the labels and we've already tried esuna and a remedy. You're stuck until Cloud gets back with Aeris."
Yuffie sniggered. "Don't let Tifa hear you saying that," she laughed at Nanaki, quietening very quickly when Vincent raised Quicksilver to her face.
"At least you can rest assured this will be over before you start menstruating, frog effects never usually last more than two days," Nanaki offered by way of comfort.
"First, it had better not or people will die. And second, I want to know how in hell you knew that."
"Well, it's happened before to some of the Cosmo Canyon residents."
"So why don't you know how to cure it?"
"Don't have to. Hermaphrodite."
Yuffie decided to risk the wrath of the Quicksilver. "Oh, gross."
Their arrival back in the camp did not bring much more helpful advice.
"Sweet mother of mammaries!" Cid yelped when Vincent pulled off his cloak, revealing that his chest now pointed in an interesting direction from beneath his politely straining shirt. Vincent supposed he should be thankful he liked his shirts loose, else drool might have accompanied Cid's slackjawed expression.
"Thank you for the enthusiasm," Vincent snapped before sitting down by the campfire, overly-aware of how his newly enlargened nipples were reacting to the cold.
Cid remained gawping. Barrett, to his credit, stole one glance before sealing it away forever in the ‘disturbing memories' section of his brain, never to be thought of again. Everyone was waiting to see the last remaining reaction before Cloud and company returned, and Yuffie took the initiative to find and explain events to their missing comrade.
"Oh my GOD!" Came the part horrified, mostly shocked reaction of a miss Tifa Lockheart. "What did you all do to him?"
A perplexed Vincent found himself head-first in sympathetic arms and ample bosom, and pondered as to whether it was worth hanging on to his last remaining shreds of dignity. "Haven't you thought about back strain? You could have found him a decent bra until this is over!" Shreds loose. "What size are you now? I'd guess D, but you've got a small back so it's probably C. Come on, I'll find you something, I probably have some training bras back in the Bronco." Shreds gone.
Vincent was never going to speak again. Not to Barrett, not to Yuffie, not to Tifa - especially not to Tifa, whose method of breast-sizing involved far too much molesting for Vincent's liking – and definitely not to Cid, whose stupid grin kept stealing Vincent's attention away from his present task of skewering fish on Cid's spear for cooking over the fire. Vincent knew, just knew, Cid was mentally replacing his handiwork with a spear with a different precious belonging.
And lo and behold, the nipples had a life of their own again. God damnit.
For a fleeting moment, Vincent entertained the possibility of reaching his hands into his shirt to try and fix the nipple issue, before he quickly realised that doing so would probably cause Cid's groin to explode. Not that the smirking son of a bitch didn't deserve it to happen literally, but still.
Cid sidled up closer. "So, how female are you?" He asked in a manner not so much suggestive as wrapping the message around a brick and smashing Vincent in the face with it.
"I haven't checked and I don't intend to."
Barrett, in the meantime, decided he'd had quite enough of acquiring memories that would need repressing, and walked back to his own tent.
"I could –"
"Finish that sentence and your balls are forfeit," Vincent interrupted rapidly, narrowing his eyes at Cid to make quite certain there was no misunderstanding between them, and decided that he was going to have to torture the part of his brain pointing out that Cid's blue eyes were currently very, very sparkly with mischief indeed.
"I'm sure you'd take good care of them," Cid replied with a grin, sidling a little closer, and Vincent took the opportunity to punch Cid very hard in the shoulder, partly out of revenge for the pilot daring to emanate pheromones. It was the only way to explain the fact that very, very interesting twinges were occurring in lower parts of Vincent's body. "You could just say no."
"No."
"Is that no to saying no, or no as in no?" Cid winked, and Vincent glared. It was never going to happen.
Half an hour later in their tent, with Cid's fingers deftly undoing shirt buttons and kissing Vincent's neck – Vincent decided it might be unwise to ask how Cid had practised shirt-lifting – the one time Turk still firmly believed it was never going to happen. As soon as Cid's tongue stopped doing interesting things to the sensitive patch of skin going up from his neck to his ear, he was going to stop all this nonsense.
Cid pulled the shirt away from Vincent's chest, grinned at the contents. Tifa's bra drowned Vincent's smaller breasts, but courtesy of it being low-cut for a bigger chest (thus sending Cid's inner alpha male into fits of whooping), everything of real value was already on display.
And these were nice.
"Are you done yet?" Vincent grumbled, before letting out a sudden yelp when Cid clamped his lips over one of the nipples that strangely enough felt softer now than when they had been cold. "We can't – ah!"
Cid sucked hard in protest because they very definitely could, then set about nibbling gently, one hand toying with Vincent's other breast while the spare hand bravely endeavoured down towards Vincent's pants. He wondered for a moment if he would be greeted with boxers, briefs or panties, and eventually realised that on a girl, any of the three would be smoking hot. Except maybe y-fronts, that would just be bizarre.
Unsure if he should feel or look first, Cid decided to take the slightly safer back route, slipping his free hand down the back of Vincent's pants and finding one very naked pert buttock and the feel of leather against the back of his hand. This meant either Vincent was a masochist and wearing leather underwear, or Vincent was a masochist and wearing leather pants with no underwear. Sweet mercy.
Being as the ex-Turk had not screamed in violated rage, Cid manoeuvred his hand around to the front (quite impressively given that widened hips had made Vincent's pants squeeze his body even tighter), lowered it a little, and blinked when he found that Vincent was rather... verdant.
"Vincent, no offence, but are you growing a forest down there?"
The glare Cid received could have felled forests. "I do not care what most women do; I am not a woman and I am not putting a razor anywhere near there."
Cid laughed, then raised an eyebrow at what definitely felt like an important zip being opened. The temporary explosion of his brain shortly after when what even more definitely felt like slim fingers wrapped around his erection suggested that Vincent's icy demeanour wasn't telling the whole truth about the ex-Turk's experience of feminine arousal.
Cid let his hand find a way down towards the part of Vincent that really mattered without getting crushed by tight leather or accidentally pulling out any hairs because that would surely mean instant death, wished it luck in the adventure. Several tense seconds later after giving in, switching his lips over to the abandoned breast and using his freed hand to unclip, unbutton and unzip Vincent's pants, victory was achieved. Cid slid his fingers through the wetness, thoroughly enjoying the squirm it brought, rubbed his thumb against Vincent's clit briefly before freeing both hands and his mouth, sitting up while he pulled Vincent's pants down to his knees. Vincent gave him a slightly disconcerted look and would have commented but for the thankfully clean finger Cid placed on his lip.
"I, Cid Highwind, solemnly swear that if you don't enjoy this you can pour hot sauce on my dick in revenge."
Vincent winced but spread his legs as best as possible, kept still during the awkward part when Cid's stubble was scratching his thigh, tried not to squirm at the sensation of Cid's tongue dipping inside him, and then gasped for air when the sudden feel of Cid's lips sucking on his clit winded him. "Mmnnn ah!" Was the best way to describe the next sound he made.
Cid was inwardly beaming. This was the bit that made it all worthwhile. The serious mistake that was a drunken office party with Scarlett. The scolding from Shera during their brief, unfortunate relationship on the workings of the female body. Vincent's involuntary spasms just then made it perfect.
"Oh – nngh – god, I owe you – ah!" Cid took the opportunity to demonstrate a little trick involving letter-spelling Shera had insisted he learn if they were ever to consider ever having sex ever again, partly to show off, and partly to get Vincent to shut up.
However, regardless of how much fun Vincent was having, Cid's abandoned erection was virtually screaming in protest, and he sat up, wiping his face on his vest as he pulled it off. That was one piece of laundry he'd damn well be doing himself.
"This isn't going to get too weird afterwards, is it?"
"You ignore me enough when I'm male, it's not as if it matters."
Cid winced internally. That was dangerous and could kill the mood fast as being sat on by a Weapon if he wasn't careful. "Hey, that's not true. I just don't look at you that way when you're a dude. I still pay attention."
"Oh really?"
Not being a complete idiot, Cid was well aware that any apology he made with his erection hopefully about to take a plunge into Vincent's pleasantly slick female benefits wasn't going to sound very sincere, but he was damn well going to have a go anyway. "Alright. I admit the other girls are cute. Well, not Yuffie, but Tifa's tits could make a grown man cry and Aeris has that whole naughty angel thing going on. But you're Vincent, okay? Or, maybe Vincente or something right now, whatever. You're a great buddy and currently you're also the hottest goth chick I have ever fucking seen." The last sentence was accompanied by cid sliding a hand up a very pale, very soft thigh before rubbing the tip of his middle finger against Vincent's clit. The combined apology seemed to work. "I am a straight man and I like girls, and you make a fucking hot girl. I'm sorry for my evil hetero desires. So," He looked up from where his fingers were moving to Vincent's face, and smiled. "How much of you is happy now?"
"Enough," Vincent replied, closing his eyes and sighing happily when Cid's fingers slipped inside him. "You know, there's something better than fingers you could use for that."
"I take it I'm forgiven?"
"For now." Vincent opened his eyes and smirked as he kicked his trousers ff the rest of the way, having shed his boots long before they reached the bed, watched Cid moved to lie on top of him.
"So. Where do you keep the condoms?"
"I don't."
Cid's grin faded. "Fuck. Do you think we should...?"
"I'm sterile and generally male."
"Good point." He pulled Vincent's legs up and settled them around his own, ignored the little mental voice muttering he could have enjoyed certain parts of Vincent perfectly well while Vincent was male because that was a no-go area if ever there was one, pushed in, and froze.
"What is it?"
"Vincent, I think your claw's cool and all, but it's not something I want near my ass."
Vincent blushed and Cid wished he had a camera because there was a rare moment if ever there was one – not that the whole thing didn't merit recording – and set to moving once the threat of ass-flaying was gone, determined to try and find Vincent's G-spot. He was still sure Shera had made that up.
Some time later, after Cid had orgasmed enthusiastically with the somewhat nonsensical cry "fucking home run," Vincent returning the favour with even more enthusiastic cries that mostly consisted of "Ah!" and "Oh!", Vincent attempted to prompt further conversation with the understatement, "That was... better than expected."
"Yeah." Cid smiled, then flopped down, resting his head on Vincent's chest and falling asleep.
Vincent decided against protesting.
Cloud pushed the tent-flap aside, caught sight of the sleeping couple within. For a moment he was confused, sure Cid had said he was straight at some point after an unfortunate incident involving alcohol and the Don Corneo dress, and then he became aware of Vincent's rather rounded endowments. His groin twitched, settled when it remembered Vincent was male, then perked up again when Cloud's brain decided Vincent's breasts made this gender issue too complex to handle and switched to autopilot.
"Aeris? Come and have a look at this," he whispered, gesturing widely for the delicate girl to come over.
"Oh my," She whispered back. "I wonder if that's what Nanaki was rambling on about on the PHS?" A moment's pause and the atmosphere of somewhat voyeuristic sweetness suddenly turned awkward. "Cloud? You know Cid's stubble?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you see it?"
Cloud looked closer, raised his torch to Cid's chin, and lowered it again. "Oh."
"I wish they'd told me earlier. It's contagious."
And not so very long into the morning, Yuffie Kisaragi woke up and screamed and screamed.
- The End
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Pairing: Cid/Vincent
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 2285
Summary: Genderswitch fic; Cid has no complaints about Vincent's new appendages.
Vincent Valentine was not a happy man. Being currently an unhappy woman, he was quite the opposite.
"What do you mean, you can't fix it?"
"I mean I can't fix it. I've read all the labels and we've already tried esuna and a remedy. You're stuck until Cloud gets back with Aeris."
Yuffie sniggered. "Don't let Tifa hear you saying that," she laughed at Nanaki, quietening very quickly when Vincent raised Quicksilver to her face.
"At least you can rest assured this will be over before you start menstruating, frog effects never usually last more than two days," Nanaki offered by way of comfort.
"First, it had better not or people will die. And second, I want to know how in hell you knew that."
"Well, it's happened before to some of the Cosmo Canyon residents."
"So why don't you know how to cure it?"
"Don't have to. Hermaphrodite."
Yuffie decided to risk the wrath of the Quicksilver. "Oh, gross."
Their arrival back in the camp did not bring much more helpful advice.
"Sweet mother of mammaries!" Cid yelped when Vincent pulled off his cloak, revealing that his chest now pointed in an interesting direction from beneath his politely straining shirt. Vincent supposed he should be thankful he liked his shirts loose, else drool might have accompanied Cid's slackjawed expression.
"Thank you for the enthusiasm," Vincent snapped before sitting down by the campfire, overly-aware of how his newly enlargened nipples were reacting to the cold.
Cid remained gawping. Barrett, to his credit, stole one glance before sealing it away forever in the ‘disturbing memories' section of his brain, never to be thought of again. Everyone was waiting to see the last remaining reaction before Cloud and company returned, and Yuffie took the initiative to find and explain events to their missing comrade.
"Oh my GOD!" Came the part horrified, mostly shocked reaction of a miss Tifa Lockheart. "What did you all do to him?"
A perplexed Vincent found himself head-first in sympathetic arms and ample bosom, and pondered as to whether it was worth hanging on to his last remaining shreds of dignity. "Haven't you thought about back strain? You could have found him a decent bra until this is over!" Shreds loose. "What size are you now? I'd guess D, but you've got a small back so it's probably C. Come on, I'll find you something, I probably have some training bras back in the Bronco." Shreds gone.
Vincent was never going to speak again. Not to Barrett, not to Yuffie, not to Tifa - especially not to Tifa, whose method of breast-sizing involved far too much molesting for Vincent's liking – and definitely not to Cid, whose stupid grin kept stealing Vincent's attention away from his present task of skewering fish on Cid's spear for cooking over the fire. Vincent knew, just knew, Cid was mentally replacing his handiwork with a spear with a different precious belonging.
And lo and behold, the nipples had a life of their own again. God damnit.
For a fleeting moment, Vincent entertained the possibility of reaching his hands into his shirt to try and fix the nipple issue, before he quickly realised that doing so would probably cause Cid's groin to explode. Not that the smirking son of a bitch didn't deserve it to happen literally, but still.
Cid sidled up closer. "So, how female are you?" He asked in a manner not so much suggestive as wrapping the message around a brick and smashing Vincent in the face with it.
"I haven't checked and I don't intend to."
Barrett, in the meantime, decided he'd had quite enough of acquiring memories that would need repressing, and walked back to his own tent.
"I could –"
"Finish that sentence and your balls are forfeit," Vincent interrupted rapidly, narrowing his eyes at Cid to make quite certain there was no misunderstanding between them, and decided that he was going to have to torture the part of his brain pointing out that Cid's blue eyes were currently very, very sparkly with mischief indeed.
"I'm sure you'd take good care of them," Cid replied with a grin, sidling a little closer, and Vincent took the opportunity to punch Cid very hard in the shoulder, partly out of revenge for the pilot daring to emanate pheromones. It was the only way to explain the fact that very, very interesting twinges were occurring in lower parts of Vincent's body. "You could just say no."
"No."
"Is that no to saying no, or no as in no?" Cid winked, and Vincent glared. It was never going to happen.
Half an hour later in their tent, with Cid's fingers deftly undoing shirt buttons and kissing Vincent's neck – Vincent decided it might be unwise to ask how Cid had practised shirt-lifting – the one time Turk still firmly believed it was never going to happen. As soon as Cid's tongue stopped doing interesting things to the sensitive patch of skin going up from his neck to his ear, he was going to stop all this nonsense.
Cid pulled the shirt away from Vincent's chest, grinned at the contents. Tifa's bra drowned Vincent's smaller breasts, but courtesy of it being low-cut for a bigger chest (thus sending Cid's inner alpha male into fits of whooping), everything of real value was already on display.
And these were nice.
"Are you done yet?" Vincent grumbled, before letting out a sudden yelp when Cid clamped his lips over one of the nipples that strangely enough felt softer now than when they had been cold. "We can't – ah!"
Cid sucked hard in protest because they very definitely could, then set about nibbling gently, one hand toying with Vincent's other breast while the spare hand bravely endeavoured down towards Vincent's pants. He wondered for a moment if he would be greeted with boxers, briefs or panties, and eventually realised that on a girl, any of the three would be smoking hot. Except maybe y-fronts, that would just be bizarre.
Unsure if he should feel or look first, Cid decided to take the slightly safer back route, slipping his free hand down the back of Vincent's pants and finding one very naked pert buttock and the feel of leather against the back of his hand. This meant either Vincent was a masochist and wearing leather underwear, or Vincent was a masochist and wearing leather pants with no underwear. Sweet mercy.
Being as the ex-Turk had not screamed in violated rage, Cid manoeuvred his hand around to the front (quite impressively given that widened hips had made Vincent's pants squeeze his body even tighter), lowered it a little, and blinked when he found that Vincent was rather... verdant.
"Vincent, no offence, but are you growing a forest down there?"
The glare Cid received could have felled forests. "I do not care what most women do; I am not a woman and I am not putting a razor anywhere near there."
Cid laughed, then raised an eyebrow at what definitely felt like an important zip being opened. The temporary explosion of his brain shortly after when what even more definitely felt like slim fingers wrapped around his erection suggested that Vincent's icy demeanour wasn't telling the whole truth about the ex-Turk's experience of feminine arousal.
Cid let his hand find a way down towards the part of Vincent that really mattered without getting crushed by tight leather or accidentally pulling out any hairs because that would surely mean instant death, wished it luck in the adventure. Several tense seconds later after giving in, switching his lips over to the abandoned breast and using his freed hand to unclip, unbutton and unzip Vincent's pants, victory was achieved. Cid slid his fingers through the wetness, thoroughly enjoying the squirm it brought, rubbed his thumb against Vincent's clit briefly before freeing both hands and his mouth, sitting up while he pulled Vincent's pants down to his knees. Vincent gave him a slightly disconcerted look and would have commented but for the thankfully clean finger Cid placed on his lip.
"I, Cid Highwind, solemnly swear that if you don't enjoy this you can pour hot sauce on my dick in revenge."
Vincent winced but spread his legs as best as possible, kept still during the awkward part when Cid's stubble was scratching his thigh, tried not to squirm at the sensation of Cid's tongue dipping inside him, and then gasped for air when the sudden feel of Cid's lips sucking on his clit winded him. "Mmnnn ah!" Was the best way to describe the next sound he made.
Cid was inwardly beaming. This was the bit that made it all worthwhile. The serious mistake that was a drunken office party with Scarlett. The scolding from Shera during their brief, unfortunate relationship on the workings of the female body. Vincent's involuntary spasms just then made it perfect.
"Oh – nngh – god, I owe you – ah!" Cid took the opportunity to demonstrate a little trick involving letter-spelling Shera had insisted he learn if they were ever to consider ever having sex ever again, partly to show off, and partly to get Vincent to shut up.
However, regardless of how much fun Vincent was having, Cid's abandoned erection was virtually screaming in protest, and he sat up, wiping his face on his vest as he pulled it off. That was one piece of laundry he'd damn well be doing himself.
"This isn't going to get too weird afterwards, is it?"
"You ignore me enough when I'm male, it's not as if it matters."
Cid winced internally. That was dangerous and could kill the mood fast as being sat on by a Weapon if he wasn't careful. "Hey, that's not true. I just don't look at you that way when you're a dude. I still pay attention."
"Oh really?"
Not being a complete idiot, Cid was well aware that any apology he made with his erection hopefully about to take a plunge into Vincent's pleasantly slick female benefits wasn't going to sound very sincere, but he was damn well going to have a go anyway. "Alright. I admit the other girls are cute. Well, not Yuffie, but Tifa's tits could make a grown man cry and Aeris has that whole naughty angel thing going on. But you're Vincent, okay? Or, maybe Vincente or something right now, whatever. You're a great buddy and currently you're also the hottest goth chick I have ever fucking seen." The last sentence was accompanied by cid sliding a hand up a very pale, very soft thigh before rubbing the tip of his middle finger against Vincent's clit. The combined apology seemed to work. "I am a straight man and I like girls, and you make a fucking hot girl. I'm sorry for my evil hetero desires. So," He looked up from where his fingers were moving to Vincent's face, and smiled. "How much of you is happy now?"
"Enough," Vincent replied, closing his eyes and sighing happily when Cid's fingers slipped inside him. "You know, there's something better than fingers you could use for that."
"I take it I'm forgiven?"
"For now." Vincent opened his eyes and smirked as he kicked his trousers ff the rest of the way, having shed his boots long before they reached the bed, watched Cid moved to lie on top of him.
"So. Where do you keep the condoms?"
"I don't."
Cid's grin faded. "Fuck. Do you think we should...?"
"I'm sterile and generally male."
"Good point." He pulled Vincent's legs up and settled them around his own, ignored the little mental voice muttering he could have enjoyed certain parts of Vincent perfectly well while Vincent was male because that was a no-go area if ever there was one, pushed in, and froze.
"What is it?"
"Vincent, I think your claw's cool and all, but it's not something I want near my ass."
Vincent blushed and Cid wished he had a camera because there was a rare moment if ever there was one – not that the whole thing didn't merit recording – and set to moving once the threat of ass-flaying was gone, determined to try and find Vincent's G-spot. He was still sure Shera had made that up.
Some time later, after Cid had orgasmed enthusiastically with the somewhat nonsensical cry "fucking home run," Vincent returning the favour with even more enthusiastic cries that mostly consisted of "Ah!" and "Oh!", Vincent attempted to prompt further conversation with the understatement, "That was... better than expected."
"Yeah." Cid smiled, then flopped down, resting his head on Vincent's chest and falling asleep.
Vincent decided against protesting.
Cloud pushed the tent-flap aside, caught sight of the sleeping couple within. For a moment he was confused, sure Cid had said he was straight at some point after an unfortunate incident involving alcohol and the Don Corneo dress, and then he became aware of Vincent's rather rounded endowments. His groin twitched, settled when it remembered Vincent was male, then perked up again when Cloud's brain decided Vincent's breasts made this gender issue too complex to handle and switched to autopilot.
"Aeris? Come and have a look at this," he whispered, gesturing widely for the delicate girl to come over.
"Oh my," She whispered back. "I wonder if that's what Nanaki was rambling on about on the PHS?" A moment's pause and the atmosphere of somewhat voyeuristic sweetness suddenly turned awkward. "Cloud? You know Cid's stubble?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you see it?"
Cloud looked closer, raised his torch to Cid's chin, and lowered it again. "Oh."
"I wish they'd told me earlier. It's contagious."
And not so very long into the morning, Yuffie Kisaragi woke up and screamed and screamed.
- The End
