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emerald_embersTitle: Echoes In Eternity
Fandom: Digital Devil Saga
Pairing: Gale/Lupa, Gale/Lupa/Roland
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 3555
Summary: AU where Lupa survived; what if things had gone differently?
"Jinana... it's just like Jinana!"
"No." Gale's voice was calm as he nudged Sera forward; Heat's was not, and Gale narrowly dodged a decidedly solid-looking punch from the red-haired man.
"She said she can't help him!"
"Let her try," Gale insisted, and Sera began to sing; hesitantly at first, stronger as if in self-defence when Lupa roared. No one had expected Gale to join in but he did and the beast seemed stunned, falling to its knees. Despite the growling Gale walked up to it fearlessly, reaching a hand out to stroke its hide. Huge teeth clamped down on Gale's shoulder but he didn't move, waving the others back when they went to help him. "Varin hides beyond that ladder," Gale had wheezed, chest tight with instinctive fear of having his lungs punctured by the teeth locked into him. "He deserves your hunger."
Something in the air changed and Lupa's jaws opened, freeing Gale for medical attention, as he reverted long enough to climb the ladder and let himself loose on Varin's forces. He'd torn through them like a madman but with assistance enough it seemed even his demon's appetite could be satiated.
Lupa sat up sharply, looking to see where he had woken but finding himself nauseous with the sense that he knew this place - no Junkyard, no Nirvana... the thought carrying its name was always just out of reach like his other confused memories of a past life.
Argilla's face was the first familiar sight from the junkyard to turn up, her expression puzzled - probably wondering when the 'all your desires satisfied' part of Nirvana began - but with her was a young boy chatting away animatedly and - oh.
This feeling of familiarity and, at the same time, displacement wasn't just a trick of the mind. Lupa knew that face, and though the name stayed out of his grasp, he knew what they had called each other.
"Son?"
The boy froze in his tracks and snatched his hand back from Argilla's, backed up against the wall. "St- stay away from me!"
Something internal that Lupa couldn't explain hurt at that, wanted to reach out and comfort the boy, explain...
Explain what, exactly? That he was leader of a tribe in another world, that he'd just happened to wake up one day remembering a life he'd spent in this world?"
"I won't hurt you," Lupa insisted because that much was true. He couldn't remember the boy's name but he did know he would die for him sooner than he'd die for any Embryon or Wolf despite his loyalty to the tribes.
"Damn right, you won't!" Yelled the boy before running off down the alley, sound of a thud as he turned the corner followed by a scream that brought Lupa running despite his better instincts.
Might have known; Gale was feasting on -
Wait. Gale had green eyes. This thing had gold eyes and Vayu's legs, even if it was tearing strips of meat off the fallen demon with Gale's mouth - and that sight shouldn't be making Lupa's blood rush to the destination it had chosen. It was Argilla who the boy decided to cling to even as Gale reverted from whatever the hell that had been, and in a moment of strange cosmic timing everyone looked away as Gale hacked, hacked again, before making the most hideously unpleasant sound ever followed by a liquid splash against the floor and, more disturbingly, a metallic clink that Gale declared "Interesting".
Still averting their eyes as much as possible from the red gunge puddled by Gale's feet, the group resumed the meet-and-greet process with the boy asking, "What - who the hell are you guys?", still regarding Lupa with an expression of utter confusion and fear.
Before Gale had his chance to explain another familiar if confused face joined the group, eyes slightly haunted as he looked for the Embryons who hadn't arrived. Argilla pre-empted further thought with the suggestion, "This could take a while - why don't we go inside for explanations?"
"I know a place," The boy replied before taking Argilla's hand - whatever the reason, he seemed to have latched onto her for now - and leading them away from the dirtier branch of the alleyways in much the same direction as Serph had arrived from.
"Roland's gonna freak when he sees you," Fred had announced after detailed explanations had been shared and he'd deigned to break his personal space rules by flinging both arms around Lupa, hugging him tight. Despite having the wrong hair, wrong clothes and "sweet tats", Lupa was apparently a double of... well, what felt like himself but apparently wasn't completely.
Fred's announcement seemed to have been at once overdramatic and an understatement; Roland, whose face triggered a distinct feeling that there were parts to his previous life he didn't want to remember, had put down his glass, left the area, and started making noises much the same as Gale had earlier. A few moments passed before the moustachioed man who seemed to act as Roland's second-in-command took over the situation, explaining how things stood while Gale did his negotiating thing. Lupa probably should have listened more carefully to what was being said or the way every human who'd grown up in this world kept staring at him but Fred had nearly all his attention, and when the boy who was and wasn't his son declared he was going to go check on Roland, Lupa had to follow, leaving the Embryon to sort out their business. Serph had earned the right to be the deciding force in discussions anyway.
Roland stank of sweat, vomit, and whatever had been in the glass he'd drained when they first came in, sat shivering against the wall and Lupa had visions of shell-shocked soldiers, of his shaking them into action for their own skins as much as anyone else's. "I always figured you'd come back and haunt me," Roland mumbled, eyes barely focusing even when Fred started shaking him.
"Come on Roland, what if he is basically dad come back? You'd have Greg back then, wouldn't that be awesome?"
"Awesome," Roland repeated with little enthusiasm, his head rolling back to thump against the wall. "Awesome. There's not enough whisky in the world for how awesome that is."
He laughed but it was an empty thing and Lupa still felt caught on that knife-edge between wanting to slap sense into the man and wanting to ask what had broken him even if that thought still seemed composed of warning lights and red and fierce, fierce pain.
Before he could decide on an action, Gale walked over and cocked his head for Lupa to join him.
"Where to now?" He asked, still hesitant to leave Fred for any length of time but aware of where his debts lay.
"To bring back Sera," Gale said calmly, enough detail to pass for an answer to normal humans but little enough that Lupa knew a fuller explanation would come once they were in better territory to discuss it. Lupa nodded to Fred before following Gale, his breath faltering slightly as he brushed past the Embryon though the memories related to that were still vague, attached to his knowledge of Fred's existence and how someone else had to have been involved in that.
'To bring back Sera', then. Four words made it sound so easy.
Gale folded his arms, leant back against the cell wall, and voiced what everyone else was thinking. "If this plan falls through, Roland should be the first to be eaten."
It was certainly enough to make Roland look up, even if the blond man's studious avoidance of Lupa's eyes was starting to get frustrating.
"This'll work!"
"I'm sure it will, but making certain everyone is aware of the emergency protocol is simply good practise," Gale assured, a glint in his eyes that Lupa was starting to recognise and appreciate.
Serph seemed content to stare at the ceiling with an expression that said "Not again". Strange to think that not so very long ago Serph had been caught by the Wolves along with Heat, their escape nothing sensational given it was before the virus but certainly a cause for concern. Lupa was not preoccupied with honor at the time but he did feel a need to make sure rules were followed, had sent a messenger to the Karma Temple to find out the protocol for dispatching of captured tribe leaders and in doing so inadvertently bought the Embryon time to break out of their cell.
History repeating itself, really.
And it hadn't escaped his attention that where the others kept a certain amount of personal space around each other, he frequently found himself invading what ought to be Gale's - and Gale was the same with him. Touching felt inappropriate in front of the others but he liked to stand close enough that he could hear Gale breathe, occasionally smell him on the air. His memories were still confused with regards to it all but he knew there were uses for lips other than eating and that another person's warmth could feel like the most important thing in the world.
Argilla seemed preoccupied with cleaning her gun and, moreover, with keeping Cielo from picking up and juggling whatever parts of it she put down long enough for him to grab, but the need to get out of the enclosed space was clearly there, aggravated by both his and Roland's presence. Lupa had lived in a fairly open space as one of the Wolves and it seemed like Roland had been the same with the Lokapala, unlike the Embryon whose small tribe, small settlements and years of guerrilla lifestyle had prepared them for sitting quiet with no true idea of when their next move would be made.
The breaths of relief were almost in unison when the cell door finally opened.
Facing Fred and his friends afterwards was an unpleasant but necessary duty; worse for the joy around them at the freeing of those who had survived, worse still somehow because this death was a reminder that, truthfully, Lupa was a military leader with echoes of a dead man inside him, not Fred's father. He felt like a father, felt genuine pride and genuine love for Fred, but he wasn't 'Greg' back from the dead, he was Lupa-who-knew-Greg's-mind. Fred was strong though, took strength from his own comrades, and Lupa suspected all the children appreciated being told the truth because even if they were young they weren't innocent. Couldn't afford to be.
Perhaps he'd been hasty in letting Gale lead him back to the Lokapala base but he had to let Fred mourn in his own way and accept that it was something he could understand but only in passing, and Gale was reasonably insistent.
"I cannot strategise effectively with this on my mind," Gale stated, and as soon as they found a room with a bed and a door that at least closed all the way even if it didn't lock, Gale's hands were on Lupa's chest, pulling clothing aside and exploring with his fingers.
Lupa knew enough to know that Gale's pale fingers against his own dark skin made a contrast he liked, and that now seemed a reasonable time to experiment with that alternative uses of lips idea. Pressing his lips against Gale's felt strange at first from simple unfamiliarity but then Gale yielded slightly, mouth opening a little, and he remembered that the wet warmth inside was something he could tease with his tongue and that felt very, very good indeed.
Peeling Gale out of his Embryon armour was more of a task, clasps and buttons seeming deliberately designed for confusion, but underneath all the various bits and pieces the black bodysuit was more or less straightforward. The top half came off easily, and Lupa couldn't help but hesitate afterwards; it was easy to forget Gale wore scars Lupa had given him, thick puncture marks around the one shoulder. Didn't matter that they had healed, seeing these was a reminder of what he'd almost done - almost become. Gale had no shyness of them, didn't flinch away as Lupa explored them with his fingers, and shut his eyes in something other than shame of his scars when Lupa switched from fingers to tongue, feeling on some level he couldn't quite explain that he was licking away some hurt by doing it. Gale slid one hand into Lupa's hair, winding his fingers around a few of the dreadlocks before pulling slightly, and Lupa parted his lips for the kiss it was Gale's turn to take, paused only when he saw that Gale's attention had snapped away to something - something else.
Roland looked like the weight of the world had been left on his shoulders until his back snapped, near staggering at the door before turning to walk out, but Gale was there quick as a flash to block further progress, never mind that anyone in the corridor outside would be seeing him in little more than shorts and socks.
"I didn't mean to interrupt -"
"But you did," Gale said, and Lupa edged back to sit on the bed and watch those heavy-lidded green eyes and that calm, infinitely reasonable sounding voice get to work. "By accident this time but I've watched you. You've been denying yourself any part in this. Why?"
"Because - it - it's just the two of you, I'd get in the way, I'm not really -"
"You're an attractive man who did a good thing today. Stop thinking illogically about earning or deserving this." Gale's hand fisted in Roland's top, pulling the blond man inside and shutting the door again before nudging Roland towards the bed, eyes glinting strangely as the blond hastily set aside his glasses.
Lupa caught their new companion when he stumbled again before joining Gale in ridding Roland of the layers and layers of simple clothing he smothered himself in, the body underneath strangely appealing in how unlike theirs it was, marks of growth and surgery in place of most war wounds, some fat where there would normally be muscle or nothing. And, this time, Lupa caught his eyes - found himself remembering moments after the virus hit and the first enemy he ever spared. Fear, disbelief, and utter longing for the option he'd been presented with to be real.
After pulling his own shorts and socks off Gale sat by Lupa on the bed, eyes fixed on Roland. "What should we do now?"
"... What?" Roland looked down at the both of them as if they were insane before making a very weird noise as Lupa grabbed him around the hips and damn near threw him on the bed, positioning himself over Roland while Gale moved to kneel at the side.
"What should -"
Lupa cut Gale off with a finger, spoke up instead, "We're unfamiliar with how all this works. Most of it seems intuitive but you're basically our voice of experience."
Roland blinked slowly before trying to speak several times and finally coming up with "So, basically you have no idea how sex works but you want to try it?"
"Exactly."
Roland took a deep breath, going an interesting shade of red in the process, before saying, "We should - should, really, go with preliminary... stuff. Oh, god, I can't believe I'm doing this, but..." Roland looked between the both of them before pulling Lupa's shorts down enough to expose his erection, wrapping one hand around it to stroke, the other around Gale's to do the same.
Even if he'd for a split second had any doubts about Gale's decision to involve Roland they would have died there because that felt incredible, and Gale seemed to agree because after making a bizarre sound he decided to pay back in kind, learning over to copy Roland with one hand on the blond man's erection, his other seconding Roland's on Lupa and yes, two hands were so much better than one.
Gale's analytical streak seemed to play to his advantage in this because he kept making little adjustments that made everything feel even better and that seemed to spark something off in Roland because in what certainly seemed like a cruel move at first he took his hands back and wriggled out from under Lupa.
"Fast learner," Roland announced before placing both hands on Gale's hips and lowering his head, and for a moment Lupa wasn't sure what was going on or why anyone would let something with teeth near that part of their body, but then Gale started trying to arch into Roland's mouth and gasped for air in a very not pained way, and Lupa ached from just watching.
Struggling against a hand Gale kept using to try and shove Roland's head back down the blond man managed to get free long enough to say, "Try it on Lupa," and Lupa was only too happy to get close enough for Gale to demonstrate whatever Roland was showing him without a painful display of flexibility.
Lowered head, yes, lips parted, and this basically looked like it was a kiss where instead of someone else's tongue there was an erection, but then Gale sucked him in as far as his mouth would allow and there were nerve endings here the mouth certainly didn't have and he felt like he was on fire. There was nothing, nothing he'd felt in this body that was so physical a pleasure and he truly did ache, felt like he could die of it and when Gale gasped and his throat opened up more then Lupa thought this sealed it, he would die for Gale if he had to - for Roland too, who'd shown them this - and for a moment all his world was the two other men on the bed. Gale kept writhing against Roland who seemed to be enjoying the feet Gale had doing the job his hands couldn't reach to do, but it was Gale who pulled back first, sweating and pale with exertion as he bucked against Roland, whitish liquid spilling between his erection and Roland's mouth before he fell limp.
Roland seemed hesitant to move, as though Gale had been a safety net that kept him from being too bothered by whatever upset him about Lupa, so Lupa opted to do the honorable thing and make a move, pulling Roland by the shoulders to lie on top of him so that their erections rubbed together and they could both use their hands comfortably. Something was still there though, still off about Roland's demeanour, and he caught the blond man checking that Gale was drifting off to sleep before meeting his eyes. "I -"
"It can wait," Lupa stated, making sure Roland kept his eye line as they moved together.
Roland's frown as he came looked pained, nothing like the mindless excess of pleasure that had flickered through Gale or the somehow intense yet dull explosion that Lupa's own felt like, and it seemed odd that there could be such variety. Roland's expression had not eased though, despite the orgasm, and Lupa felt a big reveal coming out even before the words were spoken. "I killed you."
Lupa had figured that he'd been murdered but Roland's admission allowed him to confront that thought at last, and he found the memory... unpleasant, but somehow distant, Roland's words not telling the truth. "The Society killed me, not you."
"I let you -"
"I'm not Greg. Greg died. And the Greg I remember would be a thousand times angrier at you for having this on-going self-hatred than for your running off to lead the Lokapala and give his son a father figure." Roland was technically the older man now but it certainly didn't seem like it, Lupa feeling as if the two other men were younger warriors he ought to be protecting when he slid an arm around each of them.
"Does it ever pay, doing the right thing even if it could wreck your life?" Roland asked, showing no desire to climb off Lupa's front even when it became obvious there were tears on his face. Lupa chose not to comment on the crying, figured Roland would feel more comfortable if it was ignored.
"Paying doesn't matter. Sticking to your own code of honor lets you die proud."
"Did you?"
Lupa didn't remember much but he did remember bullets, bullets in a hail and when those were done stripping his skin the demons moved in, and that last feeling might have just been a rictus grin, but on the other hand... "I think so."
"You and your damned honor. And Fred's got your thing about it too."
"Not from me."
"Close enough," Roland said and Lupa sighed, rolling his eyes before letting the blond drift off to sleep against his chest.
Gale's feelings were for him, Roland's for the man he had been. But he didn't resent being liked for the echoes; if Greg's memories had helped shape who he was now...
Honor wasn't something you gained, it was something that grew in you until you lost it. Greg had sustained his to the end; Lupa hoped he would be able to say the same of himself.
The End
Fandom: Digital Devil Saga
Pairing: Gale/Lupa, Gale/Lupa/Roland
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 3555
Summary: AU where Lupa survived; what if things had gone differently?
"Jinana... it's just like Jinana!"
"No." Gale's voice was calm as he nudged Sera forward; Heat's was not, and Gale narrowly dodged a decidedly solid-looking punch from the red-haired man.
"She said she can't help him!"
"Let her try," Gale insisted, and Sera began to sing; hesitantly at first, stronger as if in self-defence when Lupa roared. No one had expected Gale to join in but he did and the beast seemed stunned, falling to its knees. Despite the growling Gale walked up to it fearlessly, reaching a hand out to stroke its hide. Huge teeth clamped down on Gale's shoulder but he didn't move, waving the others back when they went to help him. "Varin hides beyond that ladder," Gale had wheezed, chest tight with instinctive fear of having his lungs punctured by the teeth locked into him. "He deserves your hunger."
Something in the air changed and Lupa's jaws opened, freeing Gale for medical attention, as he reverted long enough to climb the ladder and let himself loose on Varin's forces. He'd torn through them like a madman but with assistance enough it seemed even his demon's appetite could be satiated.
Lupa sat up sharply, looking to see where he had woken but finding himself nauseous with the sense that he knew this place - no Junkyard, no Nirvana... the thought carrying its name was always just out of reach like his other confused memories of a past life.
Argilla's face was the first familiar sight from the junkyard to turn up, her expression puzzled - probably wondering when the 'all your desires satisfied' part of Nirvana began - but with her was a young boy chatting away animatedly and - oh.
This feeling of familiarity and, at the same time, displacement wasn't just a trick of the mind. Lupa knew that face, and though the name stayed out of his grasp, he knew what they had called each other.
"Son?"
The boy froze in his tracks and snatched his hand back from Argilla's, backed up against the wall. "St- stay away from me!"
Something internal that Lupa couldn't explain hurt at that, wanted to reach out and comfort the boy, explain...
Explain what, exactly? That he was leader of a tribe in another world, that he'd just happened to wake up one day remembering a life he'd spent in this world?"
"I won't hurt you," Lupa insisted because that much was true. He couldn't remember the boy's name but he did know he would die for him sooner than he'd die for any Embryon or Wolf despite his loyalty to the tribes.
"Damn right, you won't!" Yelled the boy before running off down the alley, sound of a thud as he turned the corner followed by a scream that brought Lupa running despite his better instincts.
Might have known; Gale was feasting on -
Wait. Gale had green eyes. This thing had gold eyes and Vayu's legs, even if it was tearing strips of meat off the fallen demon with Gale's mouth - and that sight shouldn't be making Lupa's blood rush to the destination it had chosen. It was Argilla who the boy decided to cling to even as Gale reverted from whatever the hell that had been, and in a moment of strange cosmic timing everyone looked away as Gale hacked, hacked again, before making the most hideously unpleasant sound ever followed by a liquid splash against the floor and, more disturbingly, a metallic clink that Gale declared "Interesting".
Still averting their eyes as much as possible from the red gunge puddled by Gale's feet, the group resumed the meet-and-greet process with the boy asking, "What - who the hell are you guys?", still regarding Lupa with an expression of utter confusion and fear.
Before Gale had his chance to explain another familiar if confused face joined the group, eyes slightly haunted as he looked for the Embryons who hadn't arrived. Argilla pre-empted further thought with the suggestion, "This could take a while - why don't we go inside for explanations?"
"I know a place," The boy replied before taking Argilla's hand - whatever the reason, he seemed to have latched onto her for now - and leading them away from the dirtier branch of the alleyways in much the same direction as Serph had arrived from.
"Roland's gonna freak when he sees you," Fred had announced after detailed explanations had been shared and he'd deigned to break his personal space rules by flinging both arms around Lupa, hugging him tight. Despite having the wrong hair, wrong clothes and "sweet tats", Lupa was apparently a double of... well, what felt like himself but apparently wasn't completely.
Fred's announcement seemed to have been at once overdramatic and an understatement; Roland, whose face triggered a distinct feeling that there were parts to his previous life he didn't want to remember, had put down his glass, left the area, and started making noises much the same as Gale had earlier. A few moments passed before the moustachioed man who seemed to act as Roland's second-in-command took over the situation, explaining how things stood while Gale did his negotiating thing. Lupa probably should have listened more carefully to what was being said or the way every human who'd grown up in this world kept staring at him but Fred had nearly all his attention, and when the boy who was and wasn't his son declared he was going to go check on Roland, Lupa had to follow, leaving the Embryon to sort out their business. Serph had earned the right to be the deciding force in discussions anyway.
Roland stank of sweat, vomit, and whatever had been in the glass he'd drained when they first came in, sat shivering against the wall and Lupa had visions of shell-shocked soldiers, of his shaking them into action for their own skins as much as anyone else's. "I always figured you'd come back and haunt me," Roland mumbled, eyes barely focusing even when Fred started shaking him.
"Come on Roland, what if he is basically dad come back? You'd have Greg back then, wouldn't that be awesome?"
"Awesome," Roland repeated with little enthusiasm, his head rolling back to thump against the wall. "Awesome. There's not enough whisky in the world for how awesome that is."
He laughed but it was an empty thing and Lupa still felt caught on that knife-edge between wanting to slap sense into the man and wanting to ask what had broken him even if that thought still seemed composed of warning lights and red and fierce, fierce pain.
Before he could decide on an action, Gale walked over and cocked his head for Lupa to join him.
"Where to now?" He asked, still hesitant to leave Fred for any length of time but aware of where his debts lay.
"To bring back Sera," Gale said calmly, enough detail to pass for an answer to normal humans but little enough that Lupa knew a fuller explanation would come once they were in better territory to discuss it. Lupa nodded to Fred before following Gale, his breath faltering slightly as he brushed past the Embryon though the memories related to that were still vague, attached to his knowledge of Fred's existence and how someone else had to have been involved in that.
'To bring back Sera', then. Four words made it sound so easy.
Gale folded his arms, leant back against the cell wall, and voiced what everyone else was thinking. "If this plan falls through, Roland should be the first to be eaten."
It was certainly enough to make Roland look up, even if the blond man's studious avoidance of Lupa's eyes was starting to get frustrating.
"This'll work!"
"I'm sure it will, but making certain everyone is aware of the emergency protocol is simply good practise," Gale assured, a glint in his eyes that Lupa was starting to recognise and appreciate.
Serph seemed content to stare at the ceiling with an expression that said "Not again". Strange to think that not so very long ago Serph had been caught by the Wolves along with Heat, their escape nothing sensational given it was before the virus but certainly a cause for concern. Lupa was not preoccupied with honor at the time but he did feel a need to make sure rules were followed, had sent a messenger to the Karma Temple to find out the protocol for dispatching of captured tribe leaders and in doing so inadvertently bought the Embryon time to break out of their cell.
History repeating itself, really.
And it hadn't escaped his attention that where the others kept a certain amount of personal space around each other, he frequently found himself invading what ought to be Gale's - and Gale was the same with him. Touching felt inappropriate in front of the others but he liked to stand close enough that he could hear Gale breathe, occasionally smell him on the air. His memories were still confused with regards to it all but he knew there were uses for lips other than eating and that another person's warmth could feel like the most important thing in the world.
Argilla seemed preoccupied with cleaning her gun and, moreover, with keeping Cielo from picking up and juggling whatever parts of it she put down long enough for him to grab, but the need to get out of the enclosed space was clearly there, aggravated by both his and Roland's presence. Lupa had lived in a fairly open space as one of the Wolves and it seemed like Roland had been the same with the Lokapala, unlike the Embryon whose small tribe, small settlements and years of guerrilla lifestyle had prepared them for sitting quiet with no true idea of when their next move would be made.
The breaths of relief were almost in unison when the cell door finally opened.
Facing Fred and his friends afterwards was an unpleasant but necessary duty; worse for the joy around them at the freeing of those who had survived, worse still somehow because this death was a reminder that, truthfully, Lupa was a military leader with echoes of a dead man inside him, not Fred's father. He felt like a father, felt genuine pride and genuine love for Fred, but he wasn't 'Greg' back from the dead, he was Lupa-who-knew-Greg's-mind. Fred was strong though, took strength from his own comrades, and Lupa suspected all the children appreciated being told the truth because even if they were young they weren't innocent. Couldn't afford to be.
Perhaps he'd been hasty in letting Gale lead him back to the Lokapala base but he had to let Fred mourn in his own way and accept that it was something he could understand but only in passing, and Gale was reasonably insistent.
"I cannot strategise effectively with this on my mind," Gale stated, and as soon as they found a room with a bed and a door that at least closed all the way even if it didn't lock, Gale's hands were on Lupa's chest, pulling clothing aside and exploring with his fingers.
Lupa knew enough to know that Gale's pale fingers against his own dark skin made a contrast he liked, and that now seemed a reasonable time to experiment with that alternative uses of lips idea. Pressing his lips against Gale's felt strange at first from simple unfamiliarity but then Gale yielded slightly, mouth opening a little, and he remembered that the wet warmth inside was something he could tease with his tongue and that felt very, very good indeed.
Peeling Gale out of his Embryon armour was more of a task, clasps and buttons seeming deliberately designed for confusion, but underneath all the various bits and pieces the black bodysuit was more or less straightforward. The top half came off easily, and Lupa couldn't help but hesitate afterwards; it was easy to forget Gale wore scars Lupa had given him, thick puncture marks around the one shoulder. Didn't matter that they had healed, seeing these was a reminder of what he'd almost done - almost become. Gale had no shyness of them, didn't flinch away as Lupa explored them with his fingers, and shut his eyes in something other than shame of his scars when Lupa switched from fingers to tongue, feeling on some level he couldn't quite explain that he was licking away some hurt by doing it. Gale slid one hand into Lupa's hair, winding his fingers around a few of the dreadlocks before pulling slightly, and Lupa parted his lips for the kiss it was Gale's turn to take, paused only when he saw that Gale's attention had snapped away to something - something else.
Roland looked like the weight of the world had been left on his shoulders until his back snapped, near staggering at the door before turning to walk out, but Gale was there quick as a flash to block further progress, never mind that anyone in the corridor outside would be seeing him in little more than shorts and socks.
"I didn't mean to interrupt -"
"But you did," Gale said, and Lupa edged back to sit on the bed and watch those heavy-lidded green eyes and that calm, infinitely reasonable sounding voice get to work. "By accident this time but I've watched you. You've been denying yourself any part in this. Why?"
"Because - it - it's just the two of you, I'd get in the way, I'm not really -"
"You're an attractive man who did a good thing today. Stop thinking illogically about earning or deserving this." Gale's hand fisted in Roland's top, pulling the blond man inside and shutting the door again before nudging Roland towards the bed, eyes glinting strangely as the blond hastily set aside his glasses.
Lupa caught their new companion when he stumbled again before joining Gale in ridding Roland of the layers and layers of simple clothing he smothered himself in, the body underneath strangely appealing in how unlike theirs it was, marks of growth and surgery in place of most war wounds, some fat where there would normally be muscle or nothing. And, this time, Lupa caught his eyes - found himself remembering moments after the virus hit and the first enemy he ever spared. Fear, disbelief, and utter longing for the option he'd been presented with to be real.
After pulling his own shorts and socks off Gale sat by Lupa on the bed, eyes fixed on Roland. "What should we do now?"
"... What?" Roland looked down at the both of them as if they were insane before making a very weird noise as Lupa grabbed him around the hips and damn near threw him on the bed, positioning himself over Roland while Gale moved to kneel at the side.
"What should -"
Lupa cut Gale off with a finger, spoke up instead, "We're unfamiliar with how all this works. Most of it seems intuitive but you're basically our voice of experience."
Roland blinked slowly before trying to speak several times and finally coming up with "So, basically you have no idea how sex works but you want to try it?"
"Exactly."
Roland took a deep breath, going an interesting shade of red in the process, before saying, "We should - should, really, go with preliminary... stuff. Oh, god, I can't believe I'm doing this, but..." Roland looked between the both of them before pulling Lupa's shorts down enough to expose his erection, wrapping one hand around it to stroke, the other around Gale's to do the same.
Even if he'd for a split second had any doubts about Gale's decision to involve Roland they would have died there because that felt incredible, and Gale seemed to agree because after making a bizarre sound he decided to pay back in kind, learning over to copy Roland with one hand on the blond man's erection, his other seconding Roland's on Lupa and yes, two hands were so much better than one.
Gale's analytical streak seemed to play to his advantage in this because he kept making little adjustments that made everything feel even better and that seemed to spark something off in Roland because in what certainly seemed like a cruel move at first he took his hands back and wriggled out from under Lupa.
"Fast learner," Roland announced before placing both hands on Gale's hips and lowering his head, and for a moment Lupa wasn't sure what was going on or why anyone would let something with teeth near that part of their body, but then Gale started trying to arch into Roland's mouth and gasped for air in a very not pained way, and Lupa ached from just watching.
Struggling against a hand Gale kept using to try and shove Roland's head back down the blond man managed to get free long enough to say, "Try it on Lupa," and Lupa was only too happy to get close enough for Gale to demonstrate whatever Roland was showing him without a painful display of flexibility.
Lowered head, yes, lips parted, and this basically looked like it was a kiss where instead of someone else's tongue there was an erection, but then Gale sucked him in as far as his mouth would allow and there were nerve endings here the mouth certainly didn't have and he felt like he was on fire. There was nothing, nothing he'd felt in this body that was so physical a pleasure and he truly did ache, felt like he could die of it and when Gale gasped and his throat opened up more then Lupa thought this sealed it, he would die for Gale if he had to - for Roland too, who'd shown them this - and for a moment all his world was the two other men on the bed. Gale kept writhing against Roland who seemed to be enjoying the feet Gale had doing the job his hands couldn't reach to do, but it was Gale who pulled back first, sweating and pale with exertion as he bucked against Roland, whitish liquid spilling between his erection and Roland's mouth before he fell limp.
Roland seemed hesitant to move, as though Gale had been a safety net that kept him from being too bothered by whatever upset him about Lupa, so Lupa opted to do the honorable thing and make a move, pulling Roland by the shoulders to lie on top of him so that their erections rubbed together and they could both use their hands comfortably. Something was still there though, still off about Roland's demeanour, and he caught the blond man checking that Gale was drifting off to sleep before meeting his eyes. "I -"
"It can wait," Lupa stated, making sure Roland kept his eye line as they moved together.
Roland's frown as he came looked pained, nothing like the mindless excess of pleasure that had flickered through Gale or the somehow intense yet dull explosion that Lupa's own felt like, and it seemed odd that there could be such variety. Roland's expression had not eased though, despite the orgasm, and Lupa felt a big reveal coming out even before the words were spoken. "I killed you."
Lupa had figured that he'd been murdered but Roland's admission allowed him to confront that thought at last, and he found the memory... unpleasant, but somehow distant, Roland's words not telling the truth. "The Society killed me, not you."
"I let you -"
"I'm not Greg. Greg died. And the Greg I remember would be a thousand times angrier at you for having this on-going self-hatred than for your running off to lead the Lokapala and give his son a father figure." Roland was technically the older man now but it certainly didn't seem like it, Lupa feeling as if the two other men were younger warriors he ought to be protecting when he slid an arm around each of them.
"Does it ever pay, doing the right thing even if it could wreck your life?" Roland asked, showing no desire to climb off Lupa's front even when it became obvious there were tears on his face. Lupa chose not to comment on the crying, figured Roland would feel more comfortable if it was ignored.
"Paying doesn't matter. Sticking to your own code of honor lets you die proud."
"Did you?"
Lupa didn't remember much but he did remember bullets, bullets in a hail and when those were done stripping his skin the demons moved in, and that last feeling might have just been a rictus grin, but on the other hand... "I think so."
"You and your damned honor. And Fred's got your thing about it too."
"Not from me."
"Close enough," Roland said and Lupa sighed, rolling his eyes before letting the blond drift off to sleep against his chest.
Gale's feelings were for him, Roland's for the man he had been. But he didn't resent being liked for the echoes; if Greg's memories had helped shape who he was now...
Honor wasn't something you gained, it was something that grew in you until you lost it. Greg had sustained his to the end; Lupa hoped he would be able to say the same of himself.
The End
